UNC Football: Quit Your Ramblin’!


Welcome back to another edition of Quit Your Ramblin’! I know you guys missed me (don’t try and convince yourself otherwise)! So after two weeks of lack trash talk from Idaho and Virginia Tech fans, who actually turned out to be pretty gracious losers, it’s time to crank things back up. This week though we are doing things a little differently. I felt that the trash talk would be a little more even and sincere if we documented it before the game Saturday.

Dec 26, 2011; Shreveport, LA, USA; North Carolina Tar Heels mascot during the game against the Missouri Tigers at Independence Stadium. Missouri won 41-24. Mandatory Credit: Spruce Derden-US PRESSWIRE

This week, the Tar Heels travel to Miami to play the Hurricanes. Miami has owned UNC the past couple of year unfortunately, but nothing cures discouragement more than a new season and a few beers. I’ve snooped around the message boards and found some good commentary from both sides which is fortunate for you because that means you get spared from mine.

"Top 10 ways Miami wins this game:10 – Tar Heels get on the wrong bus from the airport and end up on Caribbean cruise.9 – Miami pulls out the gadget playbook and is successful in running each of them.8 – Ex-coach Withers comes back to coach and runs the old offensive and defensive schemes.7 – Miami strengthens defense by subbing NFL Dolphin defensive players.6 – Tar Heels starting offensive line get suspended for breaking curfew while being out in South Beach.5 – Female Miami cheerleader has a wardrobe malfunction and Tar Heel defense gets caught peeking while Morris slips in for the winning TD.4 – Miami fans turn out and are so loud they drown out Renner’s play calling.3 – Late season hurricane blows in and Casey Barth’s winning field goal gets blown wide right.2 – Miami receivers use hot gel packs to keep their hands warm and catch 100% of Morris’s passes.1 – Tar Heels are so concerned about the mental stability of Canes after their loss to Notre Dame that they let Miami win.Heeldude66"

I know I said no commentary, but I did want to point out that if number 5 actually happened, then there is no way in hell I’m blaming the defense.

"Miami-78 UNC-77, UNC missed extra point because his leg fell off after 30 OT possessions-Ashton0414"

Good point. However, per the rules of college football, extra points are not allowed to occur after the second OT. Love the effort though.

"I think…wait…I know Miami sucks. GO HEELS!-STOLBA1742"

"YAYYYY!!! The IneligiBOWL!!I think this will be a fun game to watch, GO HEELS!!!-Kjstainback"

"This really does boil down to defense. UNC is pretty tight with the run D, but their pass D is less than stellar. Miami on the other hand, is horrible at both.Gonna be a shootout, that is for sure.UNC 52 – Boats N Hoes 35-justkeepingitrealdeuxdeux———————————————————-I fixed this for you:Boats N Hoes 52 – African American Studies (non-accredited) 35-Deanestew"

"Notre Dame just scored again……LOLRPMcMurphyy"

Gotta love Notre Dame Trolls. Don’t you just love when fans that have no affiliation to a game just get on message boards and say whatever obnoxious thoughts pass through their minds?I think this game comes down to one thing and that is the amount of trash talk the players do on the field. I don’t care if you’re down 30, if you aren’t talking smack or doing touchdown dances, then you don’t belong on the field! Whoever wins this game will more than likely be the team who best exposes the opposing players girlish hobbies and or mother’s names to social media outlets or the on field press. You have to know how to get in a team’s head in order to win.

In all seriousness, I think this game will be wildly fun. I expect a lot of offense from both teams, but at the end of the day Gio Bernard proves too much for a Miami defense still trying to recover emotionally from their 41-3 loss last weekend during the renewed Catholics vs Convicts match up. I think the win goes to African American Studies (non-accredited).