Quit Your Ram-Blin’!

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Tar Heel fans it is my pleasure to introduce you to Keeping it Heel’s brand new segment called “Quit Your Ram-Blin” where we exploit and laugh at those fans that get just a little carried away with the trash talk. Every week after the big weekend game we at KIH will scrounge the message boards and social media outlets for the best rants, raves, and arguments in hopes to become your weekly outlet for senseless humor.

Credit: Josh D. Weiss-US PRESSWIRE

Unfortunately, UNC suffered a setback against Wake Forest in Winston Salem as they finished on the wrong side of a 28-27 nail biter. However, the one bright spot for Tar Heel fans after a tough loss is that ignorance and delusion hit the message boards in abundance ( mostly from right down the street in Raleigh) meaning that we are in store for a few good laughs to help ease the pain of defeat.

My only regret about this first quote is not being able to take a snap shot of everyone’s initial reaction when reading it. I can picture the priceless looks right now.

"wow, with all that nfl talent, all that cheating, phoney classes, overhyped coach. UNC really is a overpriced mediocre program. All you in state 3 or 4 star dont bother going to chhill. I wish i was on Franklin street now, all those redneck bubbas with the popped collars, sockless sperry top siders with 1000 SATs trying to blame the refs, the N&O and the chupacabra for their loss. They think there so smart but really not. I work at Top of the Hill and I love seeing heel supporters overpay for really subpar food. And when the manager isnt looking I add a little something extra to the hollandaise sauce.     –naztcheez73         (via espn.com)"

Seriously? I guess this is the kind of well constructed argument we can expect from fans on the ESPN message boards. First off I really want to clarify that rednecks do not and I repeat DO NOT pop their collars. Now I’m not completely in tune with what is considered to be the everyday style for rednecks, but I’m absolutely 100% certain that popped collars isn’t one of them. For redneck fashion advice, please ask Jeff Foxworthy and not this guy.

I also would like to point out the grammatical issues in the sentence that reads “they think there so smart but really not”. I’m pretty sure that if I wrote anything close to something that resembles this sentence, my 7th grade English teacher Mrs. White would hunt me down and hit me over the head with a book. First and foremost, “there” in this instance should be spelled “they’re” and there needs to be a comma before the word but. Not to mention, the ending of the sentence is quite awkward and missing a word or two like another they’re (or is it there?).

Next time you attack a group of people’s intelligence, I’d suggest doing a little bit of proofreading first. For all of you Top of the Hill regulars, heed my warning and please don’t sit in this guy’s section when he’s working. There is almost certainly a better use for your tip money and hollandaise sauce. This post is a prime example of why I turn to the message boards on Monday mornings when I need a good laugh. Naztcheez73, do yourself a favor and Quit Your Ram-Blin’. It’ll save you some unneeded embarrassment.

"UNC is on my $@%! list in a few weeks when we play.. nothing personal, but I’ll probably have some drinks and start another page length argument. –cam4vt (via espn.com)"

Now I’m not completely sure why a Virginia Tech fan is on this board nor do I know what UNC did to make him so mad, but in a few weeks I’ll be looking forward to staying sober and seeing what new material you will have for us. By the way didn’t Virginia Tech play Austin Peay? Cam4vt do us all a favor and Quit Your Ram-Blin’ or at least go share your unjustified anger on your own team’s board to someone that actually cares.

"Does this mean Wake is ok or UNC sncks? –_____FSU_____ (via espn.com)"

You meant UNC snacks right?

"..for Wake ; I wish to hear the lamentations of their women…! –yehonala04 (via espn.com)"

Great. It appears UNC fans aren’t immune to dumb comments either. What does this even mean? If North Carolina offers an elective for Trash Talking 101 please enroll this guy. If I have to watch the Tar Heels lose then I at least want my fellow fans to do a decent job of defending their honor. I’m pretty sure reading this was worse than watching Renner’s late interception. Have mercy on your team and PLEASE Quit Your Ramblin’,

The rest of the comments I saw touched on African-American studies, basketball season and included tons (and I mean tons) of inappropriate language therefore were left off this segment. I challenge all of the readers to send us all of the ridiculous, embarrassing, and idiotic comments for us to use and ridicule for our weekly posts! I hope you’ve enjoyed the first ever post for this new segment. There will be many more to come!