Calling Sarah Phillips

Sports stories have always been the ones that draw me in the fastest, keep my attention, and gain my general interest over all others.  Forget the wars, economy, fashion, music, food, real problems, I’ll take sports every single time please.  I follow several sports columnist just like most of you.  I’ve always tried to look the other way when the story is about the columnist themselves.  No reason to judge any of them, I don’t want them judging me.  And then a twisted tale about a young, attractive, mysterious con artist came along, this is calling Sarah Phillips.

I’ve read a bunch of stories on Sarah and I can’t begin to understand the situation.  The story is about as bizarre as any and seems made up if you ask me.  But it’s real life, it happened, something happened.  Now Sarah Phillips is fired from ESPN, no longer the heart throb of the worlds largest sports networks gambling site.

Deadspin.com outed Phillips as a con artist, one nobody can seem to figure out.  First she was questioned before her time at ESPN, when she was a writer for Covers.com a gambling advice site (yes those do exist I looked it up).  Readers and even her editor at Cover questioned if she was even real, after her photos never seemed to match up (come to think of it, I’m going to need to have a meeting here at Keeping It Heel, staff, bring two copies of ID one must be a drivers license, my office please).

Then apparently after being noticed for her work at Cover (we think) ESPN brought her onto their gambling site.  ESPN promptly fired Phillips after Deadspin.com outed her for conning some poor 19 year old man.  The man was conned into signing over the rights to his website, when Phillips promised a position on a new site of her own.  Phillips apparently conned another man out of thousands of dollars that she was supposed to invest in this site.  Once the money came, the site and Phillips, were nowhere to be found.  The story gets even more ridiculous, as Phillips conned even more money out of the man, after claiming that he had given her poor gambling advice.  She threatened to get the LAPD involved if he did not hand over more money, which he did.

That’s my best attempt at explaining this twisted, weird story.  Like I said, I still don’t understand it and I’ve read most columns written on it, some multiple times.  The thing that keeps getting me, the guy that gave her money twice, after she threatened to get the LAPD?  Really?  Did you think she was going to report you for refusing to fund her business?  Sir, you’re under arrest for failing to give this mysterious woman random amounts of money for a website you’ve yet to see.  My reaction would have been to immediately say okay lady, let me just go get some money out of my account, wait here.  Return with the cops myself, and file a civil suit for the return of my original investment.  Am I in the wrong business?

Sarah Phillips may or may not actually exist.  If she does, who knows what she really looks like.  She made some stupid mistakes, multiple times over.  But this is America, we give second chances around here.  So Sara, I’m reaching my hand out to you.  Come join us here at Keeping It Heel, and tell everyone how to gamble on college sports and get rich.  Michael Vick, strangled, electrocuted and murdered a bunch of dogs.  Ran a dog fighting ring and was a horrible human being and got caught.  Now instead of electrocuting dogs he’s electrifying the football field once again.  Marv Albert once did some very weird things with some very let’s say undesirable people once but it wasn’t long until we heard him calling games again.

I want to be clear here Sara, my offer comes with a few stipulations.  You must never look the same in any two photos you use on Keeping It Heel.  The other is, if your going to con anybody, which let’s face it, your history says your going to.  You stay away from Tar Heel Nation and any of our allies.  Meaning you stay away from anyone with any ties to any team with Carolina alums at the helm.  You stay away from Michael Jordans Bobcats, they have enough trouble on their own.  Leave Cam Newton alone, his Dad is bound to mess things up for him sometime soon anyway.  And I won’t ever be apart of any wrong doing, I would never, ever be privy to any either.  But I do have a very annoying neighbor that’s been causing trouble for a long, long time.  Anyone would recognize them immediately from the glare of their pale skin and that awful shade of blue all over the place.  This is a rich neighbor and any money donated to KIH anonymously is always appreciated.  I’ll be waiting on your call Sarah, you’ve got my info.