Anti-Duke Manifesto-The Complete Hate

4 of 30

At any rate, fairness dictates that I leave no stone unturned in an endeavor as important as explaining the basis for Duke animus. Bear in mind, there is no requirement that it be read at once. Hopefully the chapter breaks will help in this regard.

As for those who complain that the piece contains too many big words and long sentences, I apologize. However, we must keep in mind that many a Duke student reads this essay. For a student body that chants, ‘We beg to differ,’ at game referees, and that memorizes the definitions of words such as ‘juxtapose’ and ‘ignominious’ in order to gain admission to the place, it is only fair that we communicate in a way they can appreciate. With that said, I will attempt to simplify things a bit.

As for criticism no. 4, I suppose the point is valid to a degree. It is sad that I devote free time to this mission. At the same time, however, it is far easier than a non-Duke hater would believe. Somehow the words simply flow, the only task being to organize the infinite points. And, in the end, I can think of no cause more important than debunking the myths of this loathsome school.

With that said, I present below, the second edition: