Anti-Duke Manifesto-The Complete Hate

Often short on intelligence and independent thought processes, the Duke fan blindly accepts the media’s portrayal of the program and is sure that Duke has won many more than three national championships in its one hundred years of college basketball history. The Duke fan indeed worships the sportscasters who perpetuate the myth of Duke superiority. He believes, for instance, that Dick Vitale is a keen and discerning basketball expert and an intelligent man in general. As such, the Duke fan goes through life believing that ‘notoriety’ is fame for something good and that ‘athletics’ is a four syllable word.

The Duke fans represented themselves particularly well following UNC’s national championship last season. Mere days afterwards, they flocked to internet message boards with the long-time Duke rallying cry of, ‘Wait till next year.’ Before UNC’s NCAA championship banner had even been hung, they mocked UNC for the humiliation it would surely receive the following year, as its star underclassmen announced their NBA plans. Duke fans promised weekly 40 point drubbings for UNC and raised questions as to whether the defending champion would even qualify for the NIT. Some suggested that Doherty’s 8-20 season would look good by comparison. The same individuals responded with disapproval to the UNC supporters who celebrated when UNC defeated Duke for its 21st victory a year later in Cameron. Such celebration, in the minds of Duke fans, bordered on the blasphemous in that it followed a spoiling of JJ Redick’s and Shelden Williams’s senior night celebration.

But above all, the Duke fan is a master of denial. He goes through life honestly thinking that Coach K and his players can do no wrong. Unable to rebut, if even read, the points made in writings such as this, his sole response is to wave off all criticism with the childhood response of, ‘You’re just jealous.’